My Love. 2/14/11

Almost five years ago, in April, I had the honor and privilege of marrying the love of my life. Since that day, we have experienced many adventures as a married couple. Without a doubt we have experienced the ups and down that life and marriage bring. We have set out on adventures ourselves, establishing our own...becoming more and more one each day. Some adventures have brought great joy and other adventures have included great challenges, yet through it all we love each other deeply.

My husband is incredible. I know I say this because...well, he is MY husband, and you would hope that I would, but the reality is that he truly is incredible. He is excellent in all that he does. He is incredibly handsome. He loves me with a sweet, unbreakable, unconditional love that can only explained through Jesus. In times when I have not deserved love or even asked him to stop loving me, he has continued to pursue me...to love me deeply. In fact when I have insisted that I am not worthy of his love he has loved me more.
I love the way my husband knows me. He seeks to know me more daily...seeks to understand me, see me more each day. It is and incredible thing to be known by someone. Daily he leads me to Jesus. I am one tough cookie, and I am often difficult to lead. Still, he leads me towards my maker. Points me back to Him when I stray off course. Bri is patient with me through my stubbornness.

I believe that laughter has been our greatest gift. It has carried us through some of the most dark times of our lives thus far. Daily I can expect to laugh with my husband. We have such similar senses of humor...it is scary. God has granted us the grace to laugh at ourselves, laugh at our short comings, laugh at our days to come.

Valentine's Day can be silly. It seems ridiculous that we would need to take a day out of our year to love someone. I would hope that I would express my love to him daily, without reserve, yet an extra reminder never hurts. Today, I honor my husband. He daily leads me, daily loves me, and daily sees me. I appreciate all that you do Bubbie. Thank you for always reminding me of what is true...1) I am loved. 2) everything is going to be o.k.. I love you more than the mountains and the seas and the oceans. What we always say is true: I wouldn't want to do this journey with anyone else.

Monterey 4 years of marriage. 5/12/10

This year we celebrated our 4th year of marriage. I still can't believe that we have been married for four, yet in the same way, it seems longer.
He is the love of my life, and there is no one else I would rather do life with.

We went to Monterey for 4 days.

We went to Bubba Gump's.
It's a fun atmosphere.
I was able to eat about 2 things on the menu...I am allergic to shell fish :)

We were blessed with some free tickets to the Monterey Bay Aquarium,
so we popped in several times.
We took a behind the scenes tour that was neat.
We got to feed some of the fish in the largest tank.

Jellyfish freak me out.
I once got stung by a Portugese man of War....
Story for another day.
Ask me if you want a laugh!

Julia Pfeiffer Waterfall...
Breathtaking

We camped the first night at Plasket Creek.
We Figured out the tent after wrestling with it a bit.
It was a tent straight out of the movie "Parent Trap"
Brian used it when he was younger,
and we loved camping with it.

In this picture...we both yelled POSE! when the light began flashing...
Interestingly enough, we both ended up with similar "poses"
We look like we are going to war.
Not sure how much damage I could do with a broom...

Beautiful Poppies.

Note the "Parent Trap" tent.

Brian has some Mad jumping skills!

Awesome Husband. 7/6/09

I have an incredible husband...He is an amazing leader in our marriage. He leads us continually to new and better places. He leads with great integrity and passion. He is the most compassionate man alive and has a papa's heart. I love to watch him with all the kids that follow him around at church. He will always stop what he is doing always...bend down and scoop them up for hugs.

I love following him because he loves me, even when I don't deserve it. I would dare to say that I have the best husband in the whole wide world, but I know a couple wives that would argue because they are equally as in love with their husbands. He is stinkin handsome too...even when he is being a goofball. I love that he is super silly....it gives me an excuse to be myself around him, as I am a goof at heart.

I would not want to do this journey with anyone else...

I love him.

3 years. 4/8/09

My Bubba,

Three years ago today...I had the great honor of becoming you wife. In these past three years, I have not only found myself to be your wife but helpmate, best friend, lover, companion, shoulder to lean into, and so much more.

I remember our wedding day...I was up the entire night before, begging God to let me sleep, but I was just too dang excited. I was definitely ready to be your wife. It was a long time coming, and I was ready to jump in two feet first. The morning of our wedding I was so sick, from a lack of sleep and with the excitement of it all.
I look back and am so excited that we were able to see each other before the wedding. We threw tradition out of the window, and it worked amazingly. As you stood at the cross, with your back turned towards the ocean, my nervousness disappeared. I had a strong urge at that moment to tackle you and tickle you, but I resisted :) I remember coming up behind you and covering your eyes from behind, and you turned to see me for the first time. I knew by looking in your eyes that I was beautiful.
Look at the picture below...that is a picture from our rehearsal...the last time we saw each other before becoming one.

These past 3 years have been just that...a process of us becoming more and more unified in our oneness. When I made that commitment to you on April 8, 2006, I made a promise to become one with you...It has been more than I could have asked for or imagine. Our wedding was amazing...I could care less that the video didn't work...all that mattered was you. I had my mind set and nothing was going to get in my way. I have never had a day where I felt more giddy than that day. I was jumping out of my skin in joy...I nearly bounced off the stage at one point:) Our reception was the BEST! We had so much fun...there was dancing galore (the shower, the worm, dancing to jazz music). It was a dream come true.

Thank you for being the husband that I always dreamed of. I remember drawing up one of those lists of all the things that were a requirement for my husband. You fit the bill: must not snore, must not have bad B.O., and "tall, dark, and handsome". I love the way you make me laugh. We both are kids at heart and will do anything for a laugh. I love that one of our favorite past times is to make faces, hence the number of pictures we have with distorted faces.
I love the way you leave notes on my spot in bed or in my car weekly just to remind me how much you love me. I love the way you text message me every morning to tell me that you love me. I love that you think I'm beautiful even when I gain a few extra pounds or wake up on the wrong side of bed. I love the way you love me!
Thank you for putting up with me. A strong willed, pig headed, goofball, who acts like an annoying big sister at times. Thank you for loving me even when I jump out at you from around the corner because I know you startle easy just so I can laugh. Thank you for moving the furniture back into it's place just because you know that it annoys me when things are out of place. Thank you for understanding my bubble. Sometimes I have a big space bubble, and you still love me...even though you don't have a bubble:)
Thank you for your devotion to Jesus and your determination to lead our family into miraculous things. You are the real deal...you love Jesus more than anyone I know. I know we always say this to each other, but it is so true..."I would not want to do this journey with anyone else." Sometimes I thank God that we both can't have babies on our own...We would have both faced this, no matter who we married, but I am thankful that we can cling to each other through this...that I get to walk with you. I love you more than the mountains and the seas and the oceans. You are my love...Here is to 97 more years of marriage!

Jen

Our Engagement 4/6/09

One of our Engagement Shots by a friend in LA.

So....I know that you are all absolutely dying to know how he finally popped the question. It was in September of 2005. We had been dating for 4 years now, and I was more than ready to see this thing moving forward. He came home for the end of the summer for 2 weeks before his quarter began again, and he had decided that it was time to buy me a ring. He researched and looked the entire time and finally bought the ring on a Friday. He led the woman who was selling him the ring to Christ...not kidding you...She was in tears...the real deal. Anyway, he went directly from buying the ring to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. If anyone knows my dad, you know he is a sales man #1 and #2 he knows me really well. Of course, my dad said yes, and he then encouraged him to ask me sooner, rather than later. He said..."What about this Sunday...at church?" I think Brian nearly pooed his pants. My dad convinced him because he knows how hard I am to surprise. I am the queen of figuring out plans and asking too many questions. When I sense something is up, I will dig deep until I figure what is going on. Anyway, Brian agreed this would be the best plan.

From my understanding, these were the three most excruciating days of Brian's life... he had permanent poopie pants and could not stop thinking about what he was about to do. Sunday roles around...I have no clue by the way... We go to church. I remember that the worship was amazing that day. They were serving communion that evening, and I was taking my sweet old time getting back to the communion table. I stopped to say Hi to everyone and their mom. I remember Brian pushing me a long and trying to hurry me, and I remember thinking, "Geese, What's his problem?" Apparently, my parents were in the back, and he was doing everything in his power to make sure I did not see them. We returned to our seats...Brian sat on the end, two seats from me. I thought he was just being a weirdo, so I just let him be. He was trying to get me to scootch over, but obviously, I was not getting the clue. We sang..."Grace Like Rain," and I was worshiping my heart out, completely unaware that Brian was now hunched over ready to barf beside me. Nonetheless, the service ends.

At the end of each service, they always had a benediction, where the pastor prays for the congregation. Tim invited up Brian to do the benediction. I thought this was slightly odd, but I still had no clue. He began speaking and was in general talking about the church and it's role in our relationship development....I am sitting there still clueless, until he says..."And this is why I wanted to do this in front of all of you." He looks straight at me. The light bulb turns and badaboom badabing I finally get it. He was proposing! Holy junk monkeys!

He told me that it would be his honor if I would take him as my husband...he loved me more than the mountains and the seas and the oceans...blah blah blah...I don't remember anything else because I was crying. Of course, I finally said yes. BTW, I was wearing the most hideous outfit in the whole wide world that day. I had my hair in a pony tail and was sporting the hot pink "eat at joe's" t-shirt. Anyway, there was much rejoicing and hugging. My parents appeared...I cried harder. Everyone was crying. It was splendid.

We went to coffee bean to regroup...My parents sat in the KOO KOO ROO's next door and watched us :) We spent 15 minutes regrouping going... holy crud you're my fiance...holy crudded some more, and it was time for him to drive back up to San Luis Obispo. It was a crazy night and the perfect engagement!

And So it Begins... 4/5/09

I will attempt to break down our dating experience: 4.5 years into some different subtitles in order to not bore you and give you hope that there is a happy ending to this story:)

1. Boundaries and What the heck are we doing?: This is phase one of our dating experience. This consists of the first year and a half of our dating. We were both at the same junior college and attempting to figure out this whole dating thing. We are both rule followers, so much of this time was spent setting up boundaries...deciding what we really were, what we really could do, and enjoying the ushy gushy feelings that came from being a "couple."

2. Get to know my family or Else!: Phase 2...After dating for a year or so, I suddenly had the revelation that Brian avoided my family like the plague. I was discontented by this, as you can imagine. I love my family dearly, as does he, and I knew that if this was to continue he was going to have to overcome this obstacle. I remember the night the I spilled the beans. We were at the beach, and I shared my concern with him. It was stinkin scary because I basically let him know that if he wanted me...he would have to get to know my family. It was an ultimatum of sorts, and I was taking a huge risk calling him on this. Without a doubt, I know that it was the right thing to do. Brian has always been one that understands deeply the call to commitment that a real relationship requires. He knew that this getting to know my family really was a step up in his level of commitment. Luckily, he heard very clearly from the Lord and something changed; he started to come to my house more, and he got to know my amazing family. Now, they have a wonderful relationship, which I am so thankful for!

3. "You're doing what!" (Sob, Sob, tear, Wah!): Phase 3....Brian decides to move away. I transfered to Long Beach State a semester before Brian moved up to Cal Poly. When I found out he was moving, I faced some major fear. What if....he finds some gorgeous loves Jesus amazing woman in SLO and figures out that I am really am lame, what if he forgets about me, what if the long distance thing just doesn't work. In my mind I was genuinely freaking out with the "what ifs." In my heart, I was calm because I heard the Lord's voice ever so clearly saying, "He's worth the Wait." We stepped out on faith and decided to continue the relationship as he made the move to San Luis Obispo.

4. Three Years of Long Distance: Yes...We dated three years long distance, while Brian finished his BS at Cal Poly in Civil Engineering and while I finished my BA and credential at Long Beach State. I've heard many people say that long distance either makes you or breaks you. It was difficult...Only being able to see your Boyfriend once a month is not easy. We became expert communicators because...well, that's all we did...communicate. We decided to get a seriously good cell phone plan and found the best places to be alone and talk. I think we worked through most issues that people face in there first 3 years of marriage. We talked about it all because that's all we really could do...talk. At some points, I remember wanting to give up...it would be so much easier to date someone who I could actually see, but I stood firm to the word the Lord had spoken to me..."he's worth the wait." We would trade off driving to see each other...spend our Saturdays together and drive home again. It became second nature.
I can look back now and see God's hand in this season of our lives. Because we were long distance: 1. We were able to seek the Lord in finding ourselves...who we are in Christ, apart from each other. 2. We were protected in so many ways: physically remaining pure (we were 210 miles apart...not much can happen there). This was the best gift I was able to give my husband by the way! We were also protected from the vail of oooey goooeyness of falling in love. We still had those oooey goooey feelings, but we were forced to be in this for the right reasons.Finally, 4 years had passed. I was graduating soon and so was Brian...talk of getting married became more and more real, but there was one problem... he wanted me to move to San Luis Obispo. Say What?!!!!?

Fries in the Air 3/23/09

Where did we leave off? Oh Yes...Hawaiian boyfriend...I came home right before my second year of college started. That night my mom picked me up from the airport; I was desperate for something other than rice, spam, and poi. We made our way to In N Out...Lo and behold. Who was there? BRIAN! That's right Brian Dean was right there with a bunch of our friends. Both of our jaws dropped, and I immediately began to chat it up with the girls. The girls started teasing me saying, "I bet you came back with a Hawaiian boyfriend..Huh?" My reply, "Well, Yes, errrr...actually...yah." Brian steps forward at this point looks straight at me and rolls his eyes. (Now, if you know Brian at all...to this day I have never seen him roll his eyes again...it is highly uncommon). I was thinking to myself, "Geese, what's his problem?"

Things went back to how they were before we both went away. We did everything together...we were "best friends." Really, that is all we were...the guy wouldn't even hug me! He hugged everything else that had arms and a body but not me :( During this time, I was realizing more and more my motivations behind my relationship with "Hawaii Boy," and I was beginning to feel quite a bit discomforted with the idea of continuing the relationship. Novemberish came around, and Brian and I were hanging out with some friends at the beach. Brian and I hopped down into this dug out picnic bench and were chatting for quite a long time. It was during that time that I shared that I was breaking up with "Hawaii Boy."

Little did I know that Brian had made a decision: if I was to ever become single again, he was going to make a move and not miss out on the opportunity. Really, he didn't waste much time. Two weeks after breaking up with the other guy...we weretaking a jacuzzi at his house with two of our good friends, and Brian out of the blue says, "You know I never hug the girls I really like!" Seriously, I was confused. Up until this point, I truly had no confirmation that he was interested in me in that way.

One week later...He asked me out. According to him, he kept looking for opportunities to ask me, but none seemed to pop up. Being the romantic he is:), he ended up asking me to be his girlfriend at In N Out... in the parking lot. We were both so nervous. At some point, I flailed my arms up in the air and sent my fries flying all over the car.
We were officially "A Couple."

To Be Continued...
Note: I do realize that our story is very long...you will just have to enjoy the ride. It was a long one.

Our Story Begins... 3/21/09

There are probably a select few people out there who have heard our story... How we met...How long we dated. The good, the bad, and the mushy. Well, My next few blogs will be dedicated to sharing our story...How we became "The Deans."

It was a long journey. 6 and 1/2 yrs-ish long type long...

Before I begin, let me share a picture. One of the reasons I chose to marry Brian was because he's got some mad skills:
Yes, that's right folks. My husband can fly...He flutters his feet quickly back and forth and vuala! He begins to ascend! Told you he had mad skills:)Ok, back to the beginning of our story. Our story begins in 1999. We were seniors in high school. I was taking a creative cooking class first semester. I am not sure of all of the details of how I got out of class each day in the middle of class, but I did...Conveniently with my friend Kimberly. Each day we would escape during the middle of class and walk the campus. Every day we would pass the same benches, and on those benches, there always sat two boys: Evan Hopper and Brian Dean. I was without a doubt the dorkier of the two girls, so I just usually sat as Kimberly chatted with them. I do remember noticing Brian and having a particular draw to him. Besides his obvious good looks...there was something about him that I was sucked into.Ok, at this rate we will be telling this story for a very long time, so you will just have to bare with me. Nonetheless, I began seeing Brian more and more at church and school. We eventually began hanging out in the same crowd. All of my friends had a crush on him, and for all who know the unwritten girl code, it was off limits for me to like him. We continued to get to know each other... we often went off-roading together, and for some reason, this was a common thread for us to start really talking. Brian asked my good friend Laura to Prom...I was bummed. He tells me now that he really wanted to ask me...not sure that this was entirely true:) Well, we ended up going to prom together, but we went with different people. I wish I could find a picture of this because it is pretty classic.

We graduated high school...that summer I dropped off the map, in a state of I don't know what to do with myselfness, and Brian went to Israel. When he got back, we reconnected at church, and he very boldly asked me to be a part of his small group. Of course, I obliged and went the next week. I stayed in his small group for quite a while, and this is where we really started to have a friendship...just me and him. I remember at one point during this time telling Brian's cousin, Erin..."I'm going to marry your cousin." She looked at me like I was stark right mad, as she didn't know that I even had feelings for him.

Throughout his year, our "friendship" developed to the point that we were doing pretty much everything together. I was continually trying to convince myself that I was crazy for liking him...One week it would be "I don't like him because his ears are too small," the next week, "His jokes are just too corny for me." You get the picture. I was fooling myself and so was he. We were both crushing big time. Well, this year past, but we remained best friends.

At the end of the school year, my brother passed away. It rocked my world...I was completely undone. I left for Hawaii two months later, where I spent three months working at a camp for underprivileged kids. Brian worked at a camp up a Lake Shasta on the houseboats. In my trying to deal with all of my confusion and feelings, I came back with a boyfriend...

To Be Continued...