Monday, August 12, 2013
And So it Begins... 4/5/09
I will attempt to break down our dating experience: 4.5 years into some different subtitles in order to not bore you and give you hope that there is a happy ending to this story:)
1. Boundaries and What the heck are we doing?: This is phase one of our dating experience. This consists of the first year and a half of our dating. We were both at the same junior college and attempting to figure out this whole dating thing. We are both rule followers, so much of this time was spent setting up boundaries...deciding what we really were, what we really could do, and enjoying the ushy gushy feelings that came from being a "couple."
2. Get to know my family or Else!: Phase 2...After dating for a year or so, I suddenly had the revelation that Brian avoided my family like the plague. I was discontented by this, as you can imagine. I love my family dearly, as does he, and I knew that if this was to continue he was going to have to overcome this obstacle. I remember the night the I spilled the beans. We were at the beach, and I shared my concern with him. It was stinkin scary because I basically let him know that if he wanted me...he would have to get to know my family. It was an ultimatum of sorts, and I was taking a huge risk calling him on this. Without a doubt, I know that it was the right thing to do. Brian has always been one that understands deeply the call to commitment that a real relationship requires. He knew that this getting to know my family really was a step up in his level of commitment. Luckily, he heard very clearly from the Lord and something changed; he started to come to my house more, and he got to know my amazing family. Now, they have a wonderful relationship, which I am so thankful for!
3. "You're doing what!" (Sob, Sob, tear, Wah!): Phase 3....Brian decides to move away. I transfered to Long Beach State a semester before Brian moved up to Cal Poly. When I found out he was moving, I faced some major fear. What if....he finds some gorgeous loves Jesus amazing woman in SLO and figures out that I am really am lame, what if he forgets about me, what if the long distance thing just doesn't work. In my mind I was genuinely freaking out with the "what ifs." In my heart, I was calm because I heard the Lord's voice ever so clearly saying, "He's worth the Wait." We stepped out on faith and decided to continue the relationship as he made the move to San Luis Obispo.
4. Three Years of Long Distance: Yes...We dated three years long distance, while Brian finished his BS at Cal Poly in Civil Engineering and while I finished my BA and credential at Long Beach State. I've heard many people say that long distance either makes you or breaks you. It was difficult...Only being able to see your Boyfriend once a month is not easy. We became expert communicators because...well, that's all we did...communicate. We decided to get a seriously good cell phone plan and found the best places to be alone and talk. I think we worked through most issues that people face in there first 3 years of marriage. We talked about it all because that's all we really could do...talk. At some points, I remember wanting to give up...it would be so much easier to date someone who I could actually see, but I stood firm to the word the Lord had spoken to me..."he's worth the wait." We would trade off driving to see each other...spend our Saturdays together and drive home again. It became second nature.
I can look back now and see God's hand in this season of our lives. Because we were long distance: 1. We were able to seek the Lord in finding ourselves...who we are in Christ, apart from each other. 2. We were protected in so many ways: physically remaining pure (we were 210 miles apart...not much can happen there). This was the best gift I was able to give my husband by the way! We were also protected from the vail of oooey goooeyness of falling in love. We still had those oooey goooey feelings, but we were forced to be in this for the right reasons.Finally, 4 years had passed. I was graduating soon and so was Brian...talk of getting married became more and more real, but there was one problem... he wanted me to move to San Luis Obispo. Say What?!!!!?