Monday, August 12, 2013

Before I know It. 2/1/10

Dear Little One,

How I love you so dearly already. It's strange how I can love so much someone I've never held...never met. Sometimes I miss you so much it hurts. I know that someday soon I will hold you. Someday soon you will be in our home, bringing much laughter and joy into our lives.

Sweet one...I have dreamed of you for a very long time. When I was a little girl, I would carry a doll baby around. I would swaddle the baby, giving it kisses...already dreaming of you. Since your daddy and I started trying to have children, we have both vividly dreamt of you. We dream of what you will look like, what your personality will be like, who you will become.

You are so deeply loved already. You are God's chosen child for us. Even though you will not grow in my belly, you have grown in my heart. I know God is forming you in your birth- mother's womb...even now?! He is paying attention to every last detail as he knits you together. He is making you with us in mind...knowing your papa and I have exactly what you need.

I know you will be beautiful. I know when I meet you...I am going to fall apart. I am sure there will be many mixed emotions in that moment. Sheer excitement for finally seeing faith that is beyond comprehension, and I am sure a bit of sorrow too.

Your birth mother is an extremely brave woman. It takes quite a woman of character to make the kind of decision that she is making for you. She must love you more than either of us can understand. Sometimes, I get a bit nervous when I think of that moment, when your birth mother hands you over to us, but I know that God is in control. He will be right there...with us every step of the way.

Some days...I catch myself day dreaming of you for long periods of time. Praying for you. Praying for your health, Praying you will be someone who knows Jesus and loves Him with all your heart, praying you are full of laughter (I have a feeling you will have the BEST laugh), praying you are a good sleeper (mostly for my sake ;), praying for your protection as you are being formed in the womb, praying for an obedient heart, praying you don't snore (something I recently started praying for...hahahaha), praying you love to smile....I pray a LOT for you. These are just a few of my requests before God.

Please know that you are chosen. Chosen by God for us. Before I know will be in my arms...snuggling near, and I will be whispering sweet promises into your ear....sweet promises that God WILL fulfill in your life. Before I know it...I will singing you to sleep and laughing at all of your goofy faces. Before I know it...I will be packing your lunches and sending your off to kindergarten. Before I know it...I will be passing you off to another, but until then, I will cherish every moment. Cherish every dream. Once I have you, I will cherish every second. Thank God when you are laughing...Praise God when we are up in the middle of the night and you are crying. I don't want to miss a moment.

Dear one...I love you more than words can express. I CANNOT wait until the day I get to meet you face to face.

Your Momma.

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